In July of 2003, my world as I knew it fell completely apart. My marriage of 20 years was at a major crossroads, and I was unsure whether God wanted me to stay and try and work things out in my marriage or if He wanted me to move on. One of the hardest things for me was not knowing how things were going to turn out. The weekend after all this happened, I was scheduled to be in the mountains in Colorado for a seminar for Christian artists and writers. Thinking about all the mountaintop experiences that are in the bible, I was sure I would find my answer out there!
One afternoon during the conference I was sitting on a rock by a beautiful mountain stream writing songs, and as you can imagine, they were all the "where are you God" kind of songs. I could definitely relate to David's laments in the Psalms! As I was writing I looked up and saw this beautiful butterfly just dancing in the wind right in front of me. I was mesmerized by its beauty and just kept staring and staring at it. As I sat there, God spoke to my heart, saying, "You are that butterfly, and you're going to be okay," and I was filled with an amazing sense of peace, a peace that passes all understanding. I still didn't know if that meant my marriage would be healed and made better than before or if I should move on, but I knew I was going to be okay. Throughout the next year as my marriage did fall apart and I went through a divorce, God would send me a beautiful butterfly at just the moment that I needed it most, providing me the encouragement and strength I needed to get through the hurt and hopelessness that I was feeling. I still feel God's presence and love every time I see a butterfly and give Him thanks for His wonderful gift to me.
I do feel like that butterfly because God has taken my life in directions that I never dreamed. I was remarried in August of 2006 to a wonderful, Godly man who supports me and this crazy music thing 100 percent! My life is very blessed as I am living out my dream of doing music full-time.
God is good!